postpartum doula

What’s the BEST time to plan postpartum support?

As a postpartum doula, expectant parents often ask me about the best time to decide on postpartum support. My answer is simple: Right now while you’re still pregnant!

I know there’s a LONG list of things to do when you’re getting ready to have a baby: prenatal appointments, childbirth classes, reading pregnancy and baby books, baby registries, baby showers, kick counting, nursery prep, maternity photos, installing car seats, interviewing pediatricians, and so much more! Anything that happens AFTER your baby arrives is quite literally the last thing on your to-do list. I’ve been there!

But here’s the thing: You never know how your birth experience is going to go or what the temperament of your baby will be. You could have a smooth and speedy delivery that’s pretty much textbook. Or you could have a long and tiring delivery that leaves you feeling exhausted from day one. You may have a baby with their days and nights mixed up who just isn’t that into sleeping!

Lots of partners don’t get much time off work and new parents don’t always have family nearby. If you do have family nearby, you may realized they aren’t as supportive as you’d like. Unfortunately, family support often falls more into the category of “visitor” than “helper,” and that can leave you feeling even more exhausted as you try to entertain a revolving door of well-meaning visitors while also trying to recover and take care of your new baby.

Wouldn’t it be nice to know that an extra set of hands is only a call or text away once your baby arrives? Someone who is who is 100 percent focused on you and your needs and already has time set aside in their schedule to come over as soon as you’re ready? A reliable person who can worry about the everyday chores, errands, and tasks needed to keep your house running smoothly so you can rest, recover and get to know your new baby.

That’s exactly what a postpartum doula can do for you. Postpartum doulas prepare meals and snacks, do light housekeeping, take care of your baby while you rest and shower, help with laundry and dishes, entertain or care for older siblings or pets, and help you get comfortable with your skills as a new parent. We can also be the “bad guy” when well-meaning “visitors” overstay their welcome!

Postpartum doulas also provide emotional support. I’ll be there to listen if you’re having a rough day or you want to process your birth experience. I can help you figure out comfortable positions for breastfeeding or navigate your options for supplementing or bottle feeding.

We’re also an excellent resource to connect you with experts and evidence-based information related to breastfeeding, mental health, and any other topics that you might be navigating as new parents.

If you’d like to talk in more detail about how I may be able to support your family as you adjust to life with a new baby, the first step is to schedule a FREE consultation. We’ll meet in person to get to know each other, discuss your pregnancy and postpartum plans, and answer any questions you might have.

I love to help new parents get settled in, rest, recover, and get to know their new baby so everyone can have a sweeter beginning. Contact me today to reserve your spot on my calendar!

P.S. If you book a postpartum support package with me before the end of the year, I’ll throw in a FREE one-hour postpartum planning session. I’ll come to your home in the last month of your pregnancy to help you plan for your baby’s arrival.

birth story
Birth Stories

Birth: Let’s celebrate our stories

If you’ve had a baby before, you probably know labor and delivery don’t always go according to plan. If you’re still waiting for your first baby to arrive, it might be hard to know what to expect when it comes to your birth experience.

The process of birth is as unique as the babies themselves. Every birth is a little different. Some are long, some are short. Some are a natural progression and others follow a squiggly line that eventually leads to a baby arriving in the world.

No matter how your baby is born or what kind of birth you are planning, every birth story deserves to be celebrated. You deserve a moment to shine, a moment to share your story, and to acknowledge the love, hard work, determination, and commitment you showed in bringing a new life into the world, whether you had a natural vaginal birth with no meds and interventions or long labor and an unplanned cesarean delivery (or something in between).

In the article “Honoring the New Mother- Telling Our Stories, Tending Our Souls” the author,  Marcy Axness, Ph.D., says that as recently as World War II, ancient warriors returned from battle sharing their stories of horror and heroics with their fellow warriors and eventually with their communities. 

Birthing women also did this in the past through storytelling, dancing, music, poetry, and chanting. According to Dr. Axness, by recounting her personal story a woman can integrate the intensity of her birth experience into everyday life and into her own consciousness. 

Unfortunately, we have largely abandoned these postpartum rituals in our culture and the window of time for sharing our stories with others is very short. Visitors come asking to snuggle and hold the new baby, preferring to ask how the baby is sleeping than to hear about how the little one arrived into the world. Today the most common messages about birth are exaggerated punch lines in movies and sitcoms. 

Hearing other women’s birth stories (and sharing my own) has become one of my favorite rituals since I first became a mom. I didn’t know what a crazy, amazing experience it was to birth a baby until I had been through it the first time. Every time I hear a birth story, I find myself amazed that any of us even think about doing it more than once. 

My own birth experiences were as different as my boys are. But the common thread with both were my feelings of pride and accomplishment. I wanted to shout my birth stories from the rooftops for all to hear. But outside of a few close friends and family, I found that most people didn’t really care to hear about my birth experiences. So after a couple of weeks, I put these stories on a shelf and filed them away to share again at the right place and the right time. 

I decided to offer a birth story writing service because I hope to give new moms the time and space to share their story, process their birth experience, celebrate their accomplishment, and preserve their memories for the future. To be able to put a beautiful book of memories on their shelf to pull out and share or celebrate whenever they choose.

And by sharing these beautiful birth stories on my blog, I hope to bring these experiences into the community, so the next generation of women can begin to understand how they’ll experience the complex process pregnancy, labor pain, birth, and motherhood.

I’d love to help you preserve and document your birth story for the future, whether your baby is now a Kindergartener or you’re still waiting for your baby to make his or her grand entrance. Contact me today to reserve a spot on my writing calendar. 

Uncategorized

The Journey Begins: Let’s Doula This

It’s World Doula Week (March 22-28), which seems like the perfect time to begin my journey on this blog and share why I decided to become a postpartum doula.

postpartum doula journeyWhen my first baby was born in 2014, I was so focused on pregnancy, labor, and delivery that I didn’t think much about what life would be like after my sweet baby boy arrived. I had read up on newborn care and breastfeeding, and my husband and I had taken a lengthy childbirth class, so I felt mostly well-informed and prepared.

At the time, postpartum doulas weren’t common in the Des Moines area, so it never occurred to me that there might be someone out there (besides family) to provide support for me in my journey as a brand new mom.

After laboring for two nights and staying for Two more less-than restful nights at the hospital, the three of us came home running on fumes. On our first night at home, I vividly remember wandering around our house, tiny baby in my arms, wondering how anyone had allowed us to bring this little guy home and care for him on our own.

Despite a strong support network and a labor/delivery/postpartum that fit the definition of “normal,” I still remember this phase of life being So. Stinkin. Hard. The reality of having a body that felt completely and totally foreign to me, and not feeling 100 percent confident, in love, or happy with my new identity as a mom was so much harder than I imagined.

I was lucky to have a strong milk supply and a baby with a decent latch, but I still worried constantly about breastfeeding. Oh, and my baby didn’t sleep that great, either.

After a couple of weeks at home together, my husband returned to work. I foolishly thought I could do it all, handling all of the overnight feedings and diaper changes for a couple of weeks before reaching burnout. Around 4-6 weeks postpartum I was so sleep deprived I could barely function or regulate my emotions. I counted down the minutes until my husband came home from work so I could have a break.

There was, literally and figuratively, no one to fill my cup. I didn’t know how to ask those around me for what I really needed. So instead, they held the baby while I filled my water jug, or made myself lunch, or washed bottles, laundry, or dishes. I chatted with and entertained visitors instead of asking for a moment to myself to shower or nap.

Somehow we survived, and the three of us gradually settled into a better routine. Eventually, we got more sleep and worried less. My body healed, and I began to know and love the little guy who made me a mom.

But my experience as a first-time mom cemented my desire to help and support other new moms. I made it a point to deliver meals and snacks. To make gift baskets with my favorite new mom products. To bring mom’s favorite coffee. To share resources and links. And, most importantly, to provide emotional support and understanding. To be there to just listen.

After thinking seriously about postpartum doula work for a year, I completed my training through the Childbirth and Postpartum Professional Association in August of 2018. I have been working towards my certification since then.

I am a helper and an advocate by nature, and I truly feel this is the work I was meant to doula (pun intended)!

If you would like to learn more about how a postpartum doula can support you and your family as you bring home a new baby, please contact me to set up your FREE consultation.

postpartum doula journey

“You can’t drink from an empty cup. Fill yourself up, you’re worth it.” – Unknown